Matt and I just traveled to Iowa last week to attend the funeral of his 29-year-old brother-in-law, Gavin Granneman. We just rode across Iowa in RAGBRAI with him a few weeks ago, and we're all devastated by his loss. He was killed in a car accident, along with three other friends, on the way home from a football game on September 15th.

I had a great time with him over the course of RAGBRAI; he was one of the most vivacious, gutsy, and wild characters I've ever met. But he was also really loving and understanding too. We talked about our numb hands and sore asses quite a bit more than I'd like to admit.

Matt and I had an amazing time over our past week in Iowa. The Granneman family amazed us both with their strength and emotional honesty. The service was inspiring, uplifting, and even funny at times: I mean, the pastor used the word "cheese-tastic" in the sermon--isn't that great? Over 800 people attended both the visitation and the funeral.

I remember being at the visitation with slide shows, pictures, letters, and lots of people. I walked over to the stand where Gavin's ashes had been placed. I walked over to one side where his bike had been propped against a stand and that's when I started to cry. I touched the seat and the handlebars which I'd seen him resting on for seven days. To me, this bike was an extension of Gavin, like his legs or arms. It hit me then--what we'd lost. How impossible it was. How goddamn painful.

One of the best parts of this whole experience has been Gavin's friends who graced the Granneman home all last week (and apparently many times when Gavin's parents were out of town). They regaled us with hilarious stories about Gavin's adventures and kind gestures--stories that helped us all get to know Gavin more completely. They even made a website, called "Hey Gavin" on myspace.

One thing I really took from Gavin's life was a story that his father, Terry, shared with us.

One day Gavin, just 9 or 10, went roller-blading with his older brother Jamie, about 16 or 17 at the time. Gavin took them to a spot that had a railing and several long sets of stairs. Gavin took some time to explain to Jamie how to jump the stairs so he wouldn't injure himself. He explained that Jamie had to get up a bunch of speed to jump the stairs and that he had to clear all of them to make it.

"You got to go big, or go home," he said to Jamie.

Jamie, a bit nervous, skated back from the stairs, got up speed and jumped the stairs. He made it.

Gavin cheered Jamie on, then skated back a little farther to get even more speed. Then he skated fast, picking up speed, and approached the stairs.

Then--not only did Gavin make it over the stairs--he jumped over the stairs, made a complete turn in the air, cleared the railing between the stairs, and landed backwards on his roller-blades--smooth as can be.

Go big, or go home.

Gavin, you'll be missed.