Tanya and her mom, Francie

John, Auntie Lourdes’ 27 year-old son, and Francie, who’s around 19, are married and have a two-year-old daughter. I don’t know much about them except that John abuses alcohol and gets into fights and Lola suggested the two marry when Francie had their baby two years ago. They’re not at the house together very often, and there always seems to be an underlying tension to their interactions—Adam and I heard that they fight a lot, but hold it in when we’re around.

Francie’s mother, the local pastor, came over the other night to watch Tanya, their two-year-old, so John and Francie could play pool in town. Tanya was out of milk and her mother continually asked her (via cell-text) to bring baby milk up to the house so Tanya could go to sleep. Francie didn’t respond—by the time I left there it was almost 10pm and the Pastor was gently bouncing Tanya on her knee to get her to sleep.

Earlier that night, Pastor told me a story. Apparently John had courted Francie, then 15, as a dare from his cousin. They dated pretty loosely in high school, but no one thought it was anything serious. Francie did so well academically that she won two scholarships from international sponsors to send her to college and possibly graduate school. About one year into school, John got Francie got pregnant. She kept the baby—the ridiculously adorable Tanya—and married John. This was Lola’s idea to help John control his alcohol—she thought that if he had a wife and child he would sober up.

Over the dinner table, Francie’s mother shook her head as she related the story.

“Francie still has a Korean sponsor. I tell her to go back to school before it’s too late, but she won’t listen to me. She’s too worried about John—that he’ll abuse alcohol again if she leaves. She is so in love.” She shook her head just a tad, and I could see a mixture of disgust and disappointment cross her face. “But that is just child’s mind. She is not thinking about her future, only John. Now she just works down at the hardware store during the day and I don’t know what she’ll do in the future.”

“Does John still abuse alcohol?” I asked.

“Yes, of course. Not so much, but yes. And I think if she waits too long, the sponsor will no longer be interested.”

“You must be frustrated.”

“Yes, because I am willing to take care of Tanya, but she will not accept that. I want her to look after herself. I want her to have a future.”